smile^^

4.24am..
Everyone is sleeping…
only me…sitting in front of computer,
start to drop some messages here..

I remember,
for my presentation of web blog,
I ever mentioned that web blog can be used for personal online diaries,
Ya, ya, it’s my personal online diary now…..

This is no title for this blog
because i have no idea about its title
totally not idea at all……..

What i know is,
i feel stress..very very stress…and pain
i hate myself… why being so sensitive ,pessimistic ,cowardice and….
i hate everything all those roles and responsibilities
i hate environment surrounding me…
i hate myself cant do anything to handle it,
i hate myself cant do well…
i hate myself why i always thinking too much
i hate myself why i care about their feelings so much
i hate myself why i have putting too much of my expectation on them and cant
stand for their return to me
i hate them
But,
i HATE myself more…

Dunno what’s wrong with me now
Just feel want to express everything out…
But,
don’t dare to simply expressing my feeling out to anyone
It’s hurt..

Actually, i don’t hate them 我不恨他们, 我只是恨我自已…..
I should thank them
cause i’ve growth up becoz of them
learn to be more stronger and try to learn to be "cool + cruel"
cause im afraid…
afraid of hurt by someone. It’s pain..really pain…don’t feel want to
experience it again…

It’s quite a "dark" diary…
my mood is down..down..very down..
don’t feel want to maintain…

如果失去记忆能够带来新的开始,那我宁愿失去所有的记亿,重新开始…

Keep telling myself that,
BE HAPPY
@SMILE AND HAPPY ALWAYS@
hope it’s useful

This is just a personal diary,
just treat it as "normal"

Anyways, wish everyone has a nice day today^

I went to SHE show on last Friday..i have made conclusion after watched the show of SHE and one new singer(i have forgot about his name..hehe..feel sorry to him)..The conclusion is,
1)this point was very important and it’s fact, Malaysia’s GUYS  are not GENTLEMAN    AT ALL…who is agree with me? the proof was they had blocked my sight for seeing SHE and pushed me out when i decided to going out..never tried to  give way to ladies.. no wonder many Malaysia’s guys have to find their partner in other countries..hehe.. They just gave the way out for those girls who were wearing those shirts…

Just tell me the comment after read this blog..tq

There was quite a lot of first times  during the  period of  genting trip…  it was rained that day…so unlucky…Thus, we have to wait until it stopped…However, we couldn’t wait by doing nothing..Therefore, we forced to take pictures…Dunno what should we pose…we just posed anything pose we could think off…hehe..We couldn’t tahan for our hunger…then, we decided to take our dinner at KFC… Waiting…waiting…It stopped eventually…YEAH!!! We rushed out immediately… Everyone was so excited…We played and played…Until, i faced one problem—-
i m not tall enuf to play the game—fun kart ? so so so sad……… but i saw some1 shorter than me can participate wor…. why ar? just because i m a Malaysian?
it s not fair….. i will make sure i will get taller and tell them "I will be back" hahaha…….. i m so sure that i will go beck n prove to them….. otherwise i will wear  high high hill so that i will look taller……. see whether they dare to sack me from playing…..Till, it was getting dark…and the outdoor theme park was going to be closed…We ran up and down…tried our effort to play as many game as we could…Our final station was flaying coaster…My friends told me that it was not scary…So, i had a try on it…Ohno, everything was out of my expectation… almost cried and vomit…i don’t dare to try for second time…therefore, i gave up…After that, we had shopping here… I felt so damn tired…but others looked so excited and kept on shopping…haiz…finally, they decided to go back to hotel…hoho… In hotel, we celebrated our friends birthday…Quite a memorable night…I thought that i could fall asleep …how do i know…they decided went to disco …to have a look…This was my first time to enter disco…Quite noisy…but joyful…hehe…I couldn’t tahan anymore..then, i went to bed 1st…while they were playing card…  I thought that i could be back as early as i could…how do i know…?? They would like have a nice shopping at genting here again…almost faint down… Finally, they were satisfied their return…then we decide to go home on 3pm..We went down and decide to take a skyway…But, it didn’t open…haiz… We forced to return back and took a bus at bus station…I thought that we could go home now..haiz..how do i know..we forced to wait until 4.30pm…haiz..When we reach kl, i noticed that we were at pasarrakyat..(have not idea about that place totally)..Then , we forced to have a walk to Time Square…have my dinner at KFC again…and took monorial and ktm back to sg long…it was 7 pm smtg when we reach Serdang…then we took a long time back to sg long…so dam tired..and having early morning lecture somemore…haiz… That’s all of my trip..

P/S: It was quite a lot incidents occurred during the period of trip…but feel so lazy to drop down….The final examination is coming soon…Wish everyone all the Best…GAmbateh^^  have A niCe daY^-^

feel stress today
bad mood today
very very very ….bad mood todaY
feel want to cry
but
i dunno why..
i cant ever cry out all my tears..all my stress
just keep quiet..
dont feel want to talk..
tired..
tired..
damn tired
absolutely tired and stress..
why??
I’m wondering something,
why they dont tell me the truth..
Why they dont tell me?
Why they keep normal when we are chatting?
why?
Am i do anything wrong?
Or,
i’m thinking too much..??
If i’m really did something wrong..
why dont them tell me?
I notice that it’s very bad when discovered the truth
It might hurt u..
However, it’ll getting worse if we dunno
If u are that person, what will u feel?
What will u do?

Actually, i feel stress on my studies too..
getting worse..
getting loss confidence
wHat should I DO?
Should I stop?
Or
I SHOULD keep going on..
until complete my mission

If life without challenging and some stress
it’s not fun and intersting at all
but
if the life with too much stress and challenging
it will kill somebody

Am I righT?
I dunno..
everyone has their own opinions and ideas

Somebody say that it will be al-right after u go to zzz..
Is that true?
What are u think of that?

In fact, i dont think it’s true sometimes
coz i’m remain same mood even i went to zzz oledi..
What’s happen to me?
What’s wrong with me?
Can anyone tell me?

really no mood at all
absolutely tired
what’s wrong with me?
MAybe i should stop my journey for a while..and continue until complete mission
Somebody says, take a break is for walking more longer path
Is that true?
Dunno??
lets us take a break and think about our future
if we are walking too fast
we will lose some beatiful things
and lose some items
If they are never belong u..u also cant do anything to stay it back
If they are urs, they will be back one day
right?
Same..i dunno

Someone told me that u will be HAPPY if u are behaving so..u are think so
mood can influence us
what’s ur mood toDAY
fine??
bad?
Anyways..wish u have a GOOD MOOD today
not only for today..for tomorrow..For FOREVER as long we are still alive in this world
Hope that i will be better after zzz..
Wish me all the best in those comming days especially week 16 and 17..having final exam soon..
u 2..
take Care!!

P/S: feel so sorry if there are too much grammatical errors

From…
an ordainary and some “stupid” girl..
20/8/2006
20.07p.m

Many people will walk in and out of your life.
But only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.
To handle yourself, use your head;
To handle others, use your heart.

Friends

Anger is only one letter short of danger
If someone betrays you once, it is his fault;
If he betrays you twice, it is your fault.

Great minds discuss ideas;
Average minds discuss events;
Small minds discuss people.

He, who loses money, loses much;
He, who loses a friend, loses much more;
He, who loses faith, loses all.

Beautiful young people are accidents of nature,
But beautiful old people are works of art.

Learn from the mistakes of others
You can’t live long enough to make them all
yourself.

Friends, you and me…
You brought another friend…
And then there were 3…
We started our group…
Our circle of friends…
And like that circle…
There is no beginning or end…

Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is mystery.
Today is a gift.
That is why it is called the present.

Show your friends how much you care…
Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND.
If it comes back to you, then you’ll know you
have a circle of friends.

When you receive this letter,
I recommend that you send it to all your friends,
including the person who sent it to you!

You don’t have to send it to your friends, it’s your choice.
I don’t want to force you to do it, but trust me;
it’s always good to tell your friends
some nice words now and then
and that you care…

(-: Don’t make them disappointed!

It is just a simple post..just want to collect and combine all my story together and drop down into the blog..It is good to write a diary..It can be useful for me..remaining me what’ve happen before..and learn from the lessons..it has also remaining me what act i’ve done last time..Do u have habit to drop down ur mood or ur story..Not only we can drop down our own story, we also can drop down the story of the people around us..we can learn a lot of lessons from there.. Actually, dunno what should i say now cause i have just finish my exam and completed my assignment..however, i havent prepare for my presentation..so sian ar..dont feel want to do now..but i must do it..otherwise..hehe…worse thing is going to be happened..

Anyways, it is just my diary..an ordianry story..it will happen to everyone..everyone must faces thier difficulties and overcome thier fear in thier life..Just want to say..have a nice day to evryone here and be smile when facing a problem even thought we feel want to cry sometimes..hehe..BE HAPPY^^

P/S: Sorry if there are too much grammatical error..hehe..HAve A nice Day..

Hope Tok Bek Gong Bless Me For Eveything..this comming sunday and  monday..    

i believe everyone has their own first time..the firsts gift we receive, the firsts job we work for, the firsts hug with others, the firsts friend we make..and a lots of the first time we have done since we are born in this colorful world..

don’t u have ur own first time ?

So, can u tell me..

what’s ur first time??

Did u ever think about this question before?

Did u ever appreciate ur first time before?

Did u ever learn any new knowledge from ur first time before?

Did u gain any experience from ur first time before?

Actually, this is my first blog..

So please "forgive" me if this post is not as good as what Re expect..

Plus,i don’t know what should i write because of this ‘poor’ reason..i never ever post the blog before.. what can i think now is just express my emotions or what should i say is express out my feeling through blog..everyone has their own first time..me too..I’m just a ordinary girl..i will think generally or ungenerously..i will what others feel such as i will feel  nervous..excite..feel so..what u are feeling now..haha..

As what i mention just now, everyone has their first time..what’s ur first time that u are unforgettable? U may share it with me if u’re willing..

Erm..why i keep repeat this statement?? There must something wrong on my mind today.. @@ aiya..mental problem..

However, i hope u will like it..It is because it’s my first time..hehe..

P/S: Sorry if my first post make u feel misunderstanding because of my grammar’s errors..U can correct my grammar’s errors through e-mail or whatever method u decide to use..U can also give me ur advice or suggestion of my firsts post..I’ll be appreciate it very much..Meanwhile, i hope my post will be useful for u even it’s just a "rubbish"..haha=p..Then, i would like to thank the people who view my firsts post..see, what a polite person i am..hehe..Anyways, hope u will like my first time..the first post i wrote..haha..hehe..yeah!yeah! Have a nice daY